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I am so happy and grateful to have such a wonderful life and a safe place to live!!!
September 23, 2024
I had Psychotherapy today and we discussed a TV show that really triggered my Angry Parts. My Feminist Angry Energy Parts to be exact. It pissed me off so much that I needed to talk about it with my Psychotherapist.
My previous blog "Don't Touch me" relates to this blog too as I want so much to be able to stand up for myself like the character did in the tv show I watched...but the consequences she had to endure was absolute bullshit and it makes me so angry.
So, the tv show was an episode of House in season 8 where this new Dr has to go to a disciplinary hearing because she punched her superior after he sexually assaulted her. They downplay him 'smacking her ass' (while drunk, I might add, and yet he didn't receive any sort of repercussions for being drunk on duty, nor the assault, like wtf) calling it just a '"Congratulatory" pat on her behind' that she "takes out of context", and then punches him (rightfully so) for it. They immediately put HER on leave, and she even plans to move to another city, so she doesn't have to deal with the embarrassment of the hearing and then being fired (again, for standing up for herself). WTF...this pissed me off so much! Why the hell should she even be in this situation in the first place. I don't give a rats-ass if the guy was drunk. That's not an excuse for ANYTHING!!! NO ONE has ANY right to touch another person without that person's consent. And especially someone's superior...they should be held to the highest standard. This is using their seniority to manipulate a situation...what if she hadn't had the balls to stand up for herself...what if she were passive and just let it slide...how far would he go then? What kind of situation could he have put her in? Would she have ever been able to stand up for herself once it got too far?
... (been there...done that...it sucks) ...
Sure, ok, it was "just a slap on the ass", it happens everywhere all the time...... sure ......But It Shouldn't!!!!......... and we should all be allowed to say "NO! Don't touch me!!!" And better yet, we should be allowed to turn around and punch the prick as hard as we can, and hopefully, they'll think twice before trying that again.
But instead, in the show she is the one punished for standing up for herself. Ok, maybe a punch isn't the best way to say No - but ... why not. Now, I am not condoning violence but...
FROM PERSONAL EXPERIENCE - Going and talking to someone about what happened does little to nothing. Saying No doesn't work. Getting the authorities involved is more of a hassle than anything else as, again from experience, they make it out to be 'your fault'! (why'd you go there? What were you wearing? etc. etc. victim blaming)!!!
So really, all she had was a punch, and she used it. And in all fairness, the girl is tiny...this was a bigger, older man...he's upset because some little girl punched him...go f yourself... Instead of taking accountability for his actions, he becomes a pussy and blames the little girl...shit that pissed me off because I faced this so many times. Not the fighting back...
(...god I wish I had had the balls to fight back...I wouldn't be in the situation I am now had I stood up for myself when I was a little girl...if I could have stopped my abusers when I was little maybe I'd have been able to, one, stop the cycle of abuse I endured for another twenty years, and two, maybe I'd be healed by now instead of just trying to build myself up at nearly 50 years of age...)
...but the constant bullying by the abusers and others involved making me (the victim) come off as the bad guy in every situation I had been in...not once did anyone stand by my side and say "You're right Connie, what he did was wrong, so let's fight for your rights, as a Human Being, to be treated with respect! That your body is yours, and yours alone, to do with as you wish!!! That you have the right to fight back!!! To say no!!! To punch any bastard in the face whom you feel is inappropriate towards you!" (ok, maybe not physically aggressive ... but it would make me feel better ...).
The show making her out to be the perpetrator, even though all she did was stand up for herself, was bullshit. I understand 'it's just a tv show!' ... BUT ... it's real life!!!... This shit happens ALL THE TIME!!! And all we can seem to do is let it slide. The only way the tribunal saw her as the victim was only after House came in and made her upset to where she was flustered and couldn't get her sentences together. (I understand why he did it, but it shouldn't have had to come to that). She WAS the victim!!! She stood up for herself and that was all it was. She didn't hit him for the sake of hitting someone, she was standing up for herself after he touched her ass. She's a tiny, young, woman, possibly afraid of the situation, definitely pissed off by it. It's her body, and she has to protect it. Like WTF.
And this is what we deal with all the time. And it's so not right and so not fair ("life isn't fair" says old Negative Voices of the Past ... "f - off, life doesn't have to be an a-hole all the time!"...replies all my Angry Parts). We should all be treated equally, with respect, listened to, heard. No one has the right to hurt another in any way, but if the perpetrator still chooses to, then the victim (survivor) should have every right to stand up for themselves...even if it comes down to a punch in the face. Ok ... fine ... maybe not physical violence ...but until others realize we aren't putting up with this shit any more, we should be able to take whatever action that is necessary to make them feel as poorly as we do in such situations. We need to protect ourselves until the perpetrators learn this sort of crap isn't going to be tolerated, and maybe they'll finally think twice before hurting someone else.