March 19, 2024
The blue shirt is today with the full head headache ... the orange shirt is from a few days ago with Trigeminal Neuralgia only...I put them both up as comparison of pain level and its physical changes it causes to my face.
My head hurts ... but "just from the teeth up" ... and then I'll giggle when I tell someone this...making light of the situation and giggling because that is one of my many coping mechanisms I learned as a child and has stayed with me. I giggle constantly, "Laugh or Cry... I'd rather laugh"! I also make light of everything, as another coping mechanism, so I don't have to really face the severity of, well, anything...it's all far too intense and it's easier to make light of it then face the actual reality of the situation...I have always done this too...you will realize this in my other blogs.
I woke up this morning, well a number of times like usual, I was even up at 5am and put out my garbage, went back to bed by 6:30 and woke a few more times until I woke at 10am with my head wanting to explode and be crushed all at the same time...but "just from the teeth up" :) ... It feels like my head is in a vice that is like a football helmet shrinking over my skull. Then it also feels like the pressure inside my head is forcing outwards against the pressure forcing inwards. It runs from my upper jaw/teeth, all the way around to the back of my skull, is especially painful at my left ear which feels like its swollen from an infection, and then up from there to the top of my head...sooo tired!!... I wore a medical mask to bed again last night to stop the irritant from my sheets still that is slight but enough to trigger a bit of an itch in the back of my throat and a need to cough. However, those masks are triggers for my pain, usually Trigeminal Neuralgia, as it sits on the back of my left ear...this could be a culprit for the headache I have but it also could be from the change in weather we've had today. It's snowing, so it's damp out, the barometric pressure has obviously shifted as well so that's another trigger. It's not cold out, it's about 3celsius. but because of the dampness, it feels freezing to my sore trigger spots.
Everything aches on my face, and it could very well be the Trigeminal Neuralgia's daily pain has escalated but there's more to it, there is a headache that has spread throughout the rest of my head, the TN is just on one side, this pain is the entire top half of my head. Noise, smells, movement (heel touching the ground stabs into the top of my head), touch, even pulling what is left of my hair back into an elastic, just aches. My left eye is blurrier than usual. Everything smells intensely. Everything is sooooo LOUD!!! I don't want to move so I don't feel blood pressure shift in my head making the pain that much worse and I begin to black out...I've learned to grab onto things, especially walls, and breath through the darkness until it passes, but boy does it hurt!!! And the noise of the pounding in my ears is almost defining.
I still got my chores done; cared for my cats, filled the stoves, even went and took these pictures below of today...it was so beautiful here I couldn't not take them...my home looks like it's in the middle of a snow globe!!! But I didn't even work out and I'm not sure if I really want to make dinner tonight...I will because it is beneficial to eat properly, even more so when I feel like this...but I sure as heck would rather just have a bowl of cereal and call it a day.
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