A beautiful sunny day on the farm.
May 22, 2024
I have been dealing with migraines and their triggers for a while now. I was just recently diagnosed with migraines but have had them for god only knows how long. I mentioned my new diagnoses to my physiotherapist, and she couldn't believe it had taken this long for someone to mention them. I have had cluster headaches since at least the age of 15, that was when those were diagnosed but I always had head pain as a child. Then I was finally diagnosed with Trigeminal Neuralgia in 2004 at the age of 29 when it literally 'came to a head' and turned my life upside down. And for a while now I've been dealing with this entire head headache that I have mentioned in a few blogs already but just finally got the diagnoses of Migraines. Yay! Such fun!
The neurologist suggested I use the Canadian Migraine Tracker app, so I added that to my phone and geez...I have a migraine almost 5 days a week... This does not include the daily Trigeminal Neuralgia, nor the periodic cluster headaches (a day or two a week). Then whatever I get from the fibromyalgia, arthritis and also Perimenopause headaches. This also does not include my usual daily physical pain as well throughout my body...I'm tired. ...So very tired!...
Well, the triggers are of course Perimenopause, PMS, stress, dealing with past trauma, but also, the changes in the house due to the changes in season, plus the constant changes in weather...and it is sooo freaken humid in Eastern Ontario almost all the time... I always know when it is going to rain because I am in a ton of pain before it happens. Is it the barometric pressure, the humidity, or whatever, I have no clue, but I already know it's going to rain or have a chance of rain before the weather site says so. Yesterday morning I woke up in pain of about 7, it had been raining all night, the pain was so bad I could hardly string a thought together. This morning however was a beautiful sunny day, but I still woke throughout the night with almost a level 9 it was so bad...keeping in mind I am used to pain and can handle a great deal of it...so a level 9 for me is beyond nuts. And yet I still don't take anything for it, as really, I've tried everything I am willing to take, and nothing worked and I'm not going down the rabbit hole of meds that are addictive...I have enough problems already. So, I suffer with it and just keep going about my day.
Today's pain as I mentioned is at a 9, it has fluctuated some throughout the day, but it's still been sitting pretty high. The weather is 31C with a humidity of 32, not a huge deal but it can still be felt. It is still beautiful and sunny with a nice cooling breeze but there is apparently a severe storm warning now in effect, but I already figured that earlier today...there's no way rain isn't somewhere out there closing in on my location...I can feel, I've been feeling it all day. It's too humid for one thing for there not to be rain getting ready to come down but also this level of pain always comes with some sort of rain...whether it actually falls here or not doesn't matter, if it's in the vicinity I will feel it coming. I do like it better once it hits my home though as it seems to give me some reprieve from this tension; this crushing, squeezing, clenching, horrific pain from my teeth (upper jaw), all the way around to the base of my skull and top of my spine where my neck is tight, then up to the top of my skull. The left side of my face is more painful than the usual level of Trigeminal Neuralgia, like the ear and eye are swollen making the TN that much worse.
I, of course, still got my chores done, but I haven't gotten much else accomplished since I didn't start my day until late as I was up a number of times (more than usual) throughout the night with pain. I did however do my morning ritual of meditating and somatic yoga while still in bed, then working out and stretching while trying to be being mindful and present, meditated again then mindfully ate my healthy breakfast. It takes a lot of time, but I seem to function a lot better when I do this ritual then just running straight into my day, especially with this level of pain. It really does help alleviate some of the pain, in a sense, as I am able to relax and release burdens that may be mental triggers, so I at least have less of that to carry with me throughout the day. This pain leaves me feeling very unaccomplished though as there really isn't much I can do when I hurt this badly. This is why I had taken up writing, so I can at least feel like I'm getting something done. Which is now why I started blogging, so I can maybe make a difference not only in my own life but maybe help others who are dealing with the same sort of mess I am to at least feel seen and heard. It's difficult being alone in something like this when others don't understand your suffering. I am truly grateful and lucky to have this blog as an outlet for my own healing and I am so blessed to be living on this safe beautiful farm where I can heal at my own pace in my own way.
Just some pretty flowers behind the house.