April 30, 2024
We went on an antique truck drive this past weekend and were invited to some persons private collection. Asides from the cool stuff, what caught my eye the most, was the sign above the door ... it read ...
It's Never Too Late to "Relive" Your Childhood!!!
That really stuck with me, obviously, hence why I am writing about it now. But what really caught me was the ...RE-LIVE... Now, if you're anything like me and had a shitty childhood, reliving it is definitely not on my wish list, not until I'm 20 years old and have moved far away from those nuts. My childhood was terrifying, cold, lonely, and exhausting, there's not much there I'd want to relive.
So, for me the sign would read ...
It's Never Too Late to LIVE Your Childhood!!!!
The chance to make it the way it should have been. With kindness, warmth, safety, fun, love, understanding, and cleanliness. And the funny thing is, I had already been trying to do that without knowing about our many parts and their needs.
Even before I began IFS Therapy, I already knew I had two parts of me that were with me all the time. There is an 8-year-old and a 15-year-old. So, I made the two spare rooms into their own specific rooms for their ages. I have yet to finish the 15-year-olds room (the Teens room), but the 8-year-olds room (the Little Girls room) is near completion. This one was easy, I had kept all my stuffed toys, dolls and such (my sister held onto ours from childhood and gave them to me to keep a few years after I left, plus all the ones I collected throughout my adulthood) and just put them all together in her (their; not knowing yet how many parts I have that are children) room. The 15-year-olds room is much more difficult as I don't really own much of anything that pertained to me at 15. There are some cassette tapes of bands I loved, mostly The Tragically Hip, a few books I use to read by Stephen King, and a few articles of clothes that obviously no longer fit. Other than that, I never really had much at that age and when I left, I left with what I could fit in my backpack, and that was it. I left running!! I got my way out and took it!!! But now I don't have what I need to finish her room, but I am working on that and once it is complete I will share those photos too.
But my Little Girls Room is awesome, and it is almost exactly as I would have had it when I was that age, if I had been allowed to have the life I deserved. It's bright, fun, cozy and clean. I have all my toys there so have lots of great company. Plus, I keep seasonal decorations out to enjoy year-round so there is always a reminder of all the fun still ahead and of the fun already experienced. As a Little Girl, I couldn't ask for much more.
Room full of stuffed toys, dolls, random toys, and seasonal decorations to celebrate everything year-round.
I thought my Cabbage Patch Kid was stollen. My sister recently found both mine and hers and brough them to me, (plus the funny unicorn, whom she says I resemble so I have to have her) so they can join the crew up in the Little Girls Room!!! Let me tell you how excited Little Connie was to have her doll back; her heart was broken thinking someone else had her, especially with the knowledge that she had left without being able to say Goodbye!
Mine is the red head, her name is Sydney Stacey. When you adopt them, they come with their second name, and I chose Sydney as her first name so I could call her Syd because I thought it was so cool! They are sitting in the sun to release old negative energies before I bring them up and reintroduce/introduce them to the others in my Little Girls Room.
Just Little "Scrawny Connie" being her Happy Little Self!
I am sure you are looking at these pictures of this happy little girl thinking that her life must be peaches...oh, but the contrary...I was just a happy little girl, optimistic and kind, somehow staying alive in some of the craziest shit imaginable. I was lucky to be so strong and internally happy (something deep within me that was just joy no matter what), that the outside world had to really knock me down to take away that strength and happiness...on occasions it did succeed, but I was still stronger and happier than what could be thrown at me and could bounce back. I would just absorb the pain and internalize it, pushing it deep down so I could keep going, and being just a child, I didn't know the repercussions this would have on me later, but it worked and somehow, I survived. I am so grateful for my strength and internal happiness!!! If not for that I would not be here today making special spaces for my deserving, healing inner parts!!! Finally Living My Childhood!!!
"Scrawny Connie" at 8yrs of age and the last one at 11yrs...
this is when things started to get really sour, and yet she's still smiling,
but you can see some of the joy has left that little face,
there is pain and sadness behind those eyes now,
she has already seen far too much,
but still always such a happy, good little girl.